Grateful

Thanks god for everything I have now.
 When i was 18, i failed to get into Spore Poly. 
I was frustrated. I was indignant. 
At the same time, i was also remorse.
 I regret that i did not work hard for SPM. 
10As is just not enough to achieve my goals. 
I shouldn't just choose PHARMACY course for all my options to poly.
 I should have listened to my parents. 
I shouldn't be so bullheaded. 
But what's done is done. 
Nothing much we can do but accept the truth

. Getting rejected by Spore poly, i felt so helpless.
 i put all my hopes on it. and that's why i fell so hard. 
I felt like i am hopeless. 

TARC, a name i used to despise. 
People said TARC is for those who got bad results. 
Well, it is absolutely wrong. 
TARC offers me a full scholarship to pursue A-level.
 Well,it's a great chance for me to be someone again. 
Being a scholar, it's not easy to retain the scholarship.

Literally, i worked so hard for my AS level exam. 
I did all the past years, studying in the library bla bla bla 
Thanks god i got 4As for my AS level. 
I was praised by everyone in the class, the lecturers, frens etc. 

I shouldn't be haughty during that time
. I shouldn't be blindfolded by all the praises.
 I shouldn't have taken A2 level so lightly. 
I shouldn't have played with the fire

I lost my As coz of being too slack during my A2 exam.
 Eventually, i only got two As for my Alevel. 

when i saw the results, the first thought in my mind is "Gosh, i am phucked up again!" 

History repeated. i got rejected from Spore U.

But God never give me up. 
He Gave me a second chance. 

I sent out a lot of application to all the scholarship program and etc.
 None of them replied. 
The tuition fees of private U is so damn high.
 i really don't wanna burden on my parents. 

i was in despair and gave up all the hopes.
 It really took a toll on me. I was really shagged and in sorrow.

One day,THE STAR called me upon for an interview to pursue the full scholarship from UNMC.
 I was so happy when i got the call.
I felt so surreal when i got the call from THE STAR EDUCATION FUND.
 At the moment the person in charge said " Congrats you are chosen as the scholarship recipient ", i was in cloud nine.
 i was in disbelief coz i didn't do well during the interview session.
 i even burst into tears after the interview
.He hold me tight and said "As long as you have done your best, you are the best" 
Thanks god for granting such a caring and wonderful father.

I was super duper happy when i got the scholarship and won the chance to study at UNMC (my dream uni during that time)
it's like seeing a bright light when you are in all dark. 

Seriously, Thank you! thanks for everything u gave me. 
For one moment, i just wanna thank you for everything that i am blessed with.
 I am happy with my life now. with bunch of nice friends, and got into such a reputable U without paying. Thank you God .. I am so grateful. Please give me strength to be determined and continue working hard in
 the future

Back after 2 years PLUS hiatus

reading back all the blog posts I have done in the past. and Realized how immature i was . However, i am still the eccentric and cranky girl as before.. ehem .. maybe i should called myself eccentric and cranky WOMAN now. Gosh :O Gosh i am an adult. Stiill couldn't accept that I am 21 and 22 - to - be this year :O Time, y U no move slower? :( BUT! Ages don't measure maturity I am still the childish fellow in the past. By getting into U, i learnt a lot You are an individual, no one will take care / paying attention on you just like how your parents did You need to be absolutely dependent and aware of what's happening around you Literally, getting in university is like a preparation of becoming a absolute ADULT Gosh feeling like i am an old woman now == Getting into adult stage, i realized how much had i wasted my time in the past. I wasted my time fooling around, playing around, chatting around, teasing around instead of doing those necessary stuffs which could actually leads me to a brighter / better future. i am so fucked up right ? hahaha well it's never too late to CHANGE. haha i am really regret that i gave up learning piano so easily. gosh. in the past, i never know i love music sooo much. watching Taylor Hanson or Jam Hsiao singing and playing piano at the same time, omg. i envy them so much. they gave me the incentive for learning to play piano AGAIN == p/s: i wonder why do i have so much strength to typed like this "i aM an idIOt" in the past. like a fool sial..

无止境的问题

人生因为有痛苦，
所以有快乐。

人们因为习惯快乐，
在面对痛苦时，
便不知所措。

当人遇上问题时，
不懂得应对，
因而感到烦恼。


对做过的事情感到后悔，
但为时已晚。
因此深感无奈。
但也于事无补。

在未来日子里，
只能竭尽所能，
让自己成为最好的，
做到最好的，
已不让自己再感到后悔，无奈，烦恼，难过。。。

人~

人是为了利用彼此才留在彼此身边?
人与人之间的事,真的很难处理....
我很无奈
但也了解
不要去靠近火,
就不会被火灼伤...

m-o-o-d-y-

i m childish; i admit.
I m troublesome;i agree
i m fussy;yes,i am.

I m sucks.
I nit someone nw.
Tears dropping. Out of control.
I m damn freaking emo nw.
God pls save me.
I am gonna screw up 4 my bio.
Seriously.

...

to me, it is not a happy birthday.
And i dun like birthday.

..

i miss you
perhaps u will never see this
but i miss you
vy much